“Don’t tell anyone I told you, but…”

What a way to begin a conversation. Even better yet there’s the infamous, “Susie said … (blah blah blah), but said not to tell anyone.” Secrets are hard to keep, gossip is easy to spread, and neither is beneficial to the life of the church. Whether it is in person, by phone, texting or MySpace, wounding words- from Christians no less- cut deep without regard to our call to live as Christians (literally “little Christs”).

Ghandi once said, I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” He makes a point about how our actions don’t always match what we know to be Christian behavior. In Romans 7:7-25, Paul talks about our struggle with sinful behavior. There is absolutely no justification for choosing hurtful words and actions over forgiveness and love.

If you read chapter one of Romans, Paul talks about God’s wrath toward those who suppress truth. He then lists a number of depraved actions which include gossip and slander. In Galatians 5:13-20 Paul reprimands the church for back-biting, discord, etc, instead of serving “one another in love.” Too often, then and now, we “good” Christians justify our jealousy, rage, and need for revenge against those who have hurt or disagreed with us. But giving in to that only drags one down to the point of leaning on your own will and straying from the faith. Only a downward spiral follows.

The next time someone begins to spread gossip, whether in the guise of truth or not, I challenge you to boldness and to “[speak] the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Stop being a party to the spread of rumors that destroy and instead gossip the gospel. When encountering the “Susie said not to tell, but…” preface to a conversation, I have learned to interrupt with “then please don’t tell me.” Remember, whoever doesn’t keep Susie’s secrets, won’t keep yours either. And, briefly, there’s the email stories that beg to be forwarded. Try checking their validity at snopes.com and you’ll be surprised.

Those who consider themselves to be Christian need to quit kidding themselves into thinking hurtful words are acceptable in retaliation for the hurtful words they have received. We need to put child-ish and petty ways behind us and embrace God’s grace. We need to cling to a child-like faith and share forgiveness with each other as easily as God forgives us. Let us get back to the task of being transformed so that the world outside the church doors will see us and see how Christians are so very much like the Christ we preach.

Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phil 7:8