This blog is updated semi-bi-weekly on a daily basis (in other words, for the most part, this is updated weekly, give or take some days here and there). Come by and leave your comments. You may subscribe to an email notification list by going down to the column below.

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Friday, July 18, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

(The following is a continuation of my views on msn.com’s story on “10 Big Mistakes Parents Make”.)

10) Not following though: How often have you heard a mom with kids in tow, moving up and down the aisles in the grocery store: “Johnny, don’t do that again or you won’t get candy when we leave. Johnny, this is your last chance, don’t don that. Okay Johnny, I’m giving you one more chance. Now Johnny, I told you not to do that again or else…” And then at the check out line, of course Johnny gets the candy anyway. No should always mean no, and yes should always mean yes. I trust God because I know that His promises are steadfast. God may pronounce His divine “I’VE HAD IT!” like he did so often with Moses about those “stiff-necked” people in the desert, but God didn’t threaten anything He wouldn’t follow through on, and Moses knew that. God, in His mercy, may change His mind about things, but what He says He will do, he will do. He should be our model in this. I believe that it is a loving act for parents to give their children a solid foundation in which to trust. Following through is a way to provide children with a foundational understanding of how to trust parents, in their "yes" and their "no".

Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

(The following is a continuation of my views on msn.com’s story on “10 Big Mistakes Parents Make”.)

9) Pushing trends on kids: Okay, I confess that fashion trends are not that vital to my life. In fact, as my daughter reads this, I know she was shocked that I knew what “Jimmy Choos” are (they are shoes). But in speaking about sharing your passions, I shared my passion of music, which included that period where practicing the piano was not an option for her. But I saw her own passion and her own gift and tried my best to encourage that (yes, she is a pianist, surpassing me). Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers (and mothers too), “do not exasperate your children" even when you are correcting them, and even when you are encouraging them to use their God-given gifts. I think this verse in Ephesians is showing an expectation of parents to deal gently with their children and find ways of encouraging moral behavior and faithfulness to God, as well as encouraging them to find a passion and use those gifts for God.

Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children. (Watch for the rest of this list to be updated daily.)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

(The following is a continuation of my views on msn.com’s story on “10 Big Mistakes Parents Make”.)

8) Not teaching kids to fend for themselves: My papaw would say the old line, “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime.” I think this holds true for our children. For me, this goes back to items 3 and 5 on this list. In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus is described as the carpenter’s son. The gospel of Mark goes on to describe Jesus as a carpenter, presumably one who had followed Joseph into the trade. Jesus certainly was given a loving earthly father who, like generations before, gave their sons the gift of a trade or knowledge. I picture little Jesus in the shop, learning year after year how to build. I picture Joseph smiling as he envisions his son being able to enjoy life because of his trade and experience.

Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children. (Watch for the rest of this list to be updated daily.)


Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

(The following is a continuation of my views on msn.com’s story on “10 Big Mistakes Parents Make”.)

7) Setting unreal expectations: After hearing my expectations (of keeping her room clean, telling the truth, coming home on time, etc) my daughter would sometimes question me, “Do you expect me to be perfect? I’m not perfect you know!”. My Wesleyan words came forth about striving for Christian perfection verses being perfect little robots. We are to “aim for perfection” (2 Cor 13:11), and to “press on” (Phil 3:12) in our imperfection. Regarding #7 on the list from msn, dreams of our children are important, but perhaps backing up to set expectations of following biblical principles and moral behavior should be a priority. If parents and children are moving together in that journey (for the most part) then helping your child reach their dreams (and not necessarily yours) is a joy.

Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children. (Watch for the rest of this list to be updated daily.)

Monday, July 14, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

(The following is a continuation of my views on msn.com’s story on “10 Big Mistakes Parents Make”.)

6) Not being a good spouse: However you read Eph 5:22-28 which says “Wives submit to your husbands…” and “Husbands love your wives…”, the focus of this passage is not to label a “boss”, but to set up a precedent for living out a loving and Christ-centered marriage. If the husband and wife and treating each other as they would Christ, then their children will be able to appreciate the loving picture of Christ as the bridegroom and the church as the bride. They will also have a clear picture of how to treat their own spouse in the future.

Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children. (Watch for the rest of this list to be updated daily.)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

(The following is a continuation of my views on msn.com’s story on “10 Big Mistakes Parents Make”.)

5) Not giving kids enough responsibility: Just because children are young doesn’t mean that they are not an integral part of the family. Paul tells the young Timothy, “Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity” (1 Tim 4:12). Age should not set parameters on whether or not you have a responsibility, but how you participate responsibly. Sometimes setting a good example is a huge responsibility (my mother and grandmother’s words ring in my ear about that). Would not honoring one’s mother and father include helping them in any way that you can … just because?

Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children. (Watch for the rest of this list to be updated daily.)

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

(The following is a continuation of my views on msn.com’s story on "10 Big Mistakes Parents Make".)

4) Praising mediocrity: Praise is something set aside for great events and persons. God is worthy of our constant praise, not because he attempted to create and bring reconciliation, but because he alone is Lord of the universe who has created and is creating. Jesus is worthy of praise because he has defeated sin and death through His resurrection. In a more general sense, “praise” is a statement of greatness as when Jacob blessed Judah saying that his brothers would praise him (Gen 49:8). Praise is reserved for unparalleled greatness. When a parent doesn’t praise every step and action of their child, it doesn’t mean you are withholding love or admiration for the child. If children don’t learn the difference between greatness and mediocrity, how will they be able to appreciate the unsurpassing greatness of God, if everyone and everything is always worthy of praise?

Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children. (Watch for the rest of this list to be updated daily.)

Friday, July 11, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

(The following is a continuation of my views on msn.com’s story on “10 Big Mistakes Parents Make”.)


3) Failing to get involved at school: Deut 11:1-19 contains a call for parents to remember their experience in the desert and the lessons they learned, and then pass that on to their children. They are told to remember God’s ways and “Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” What child doesn’t want to spend time with parents who offer love and support? It is the duty of parents to make sure their children are educated, especially in matters of school and faith. Moreover, it should be the joy of parents to have a hand in what their children learn and take to heart.


Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children. (Watch for the rest of this list to be updated daily.)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

(The following is a continuation of my views on "10 Big Mistakes Parents Make".)

2) Inadequate discipline: Have you heard the quote, “Spoil the rod and spare the child”? For ten points, where does that quote come from? If you said the Bible, you are incorrect, as that saying is only a reference to Proverbs 13:24 which says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” (Also read Pr. 13:1,18 and 20). I don’t believe verse 24 is a call to beat your child, and I don’t even think it is saying that spanking is or isn’t a good idea. The focus is the necessity of discipline, not a singular method of punishment. When I look back at my childhood and youth, I don’t think about the punishments I justly received, but I do appreciate the fact that they tried to teach me right and avoid wrong, for my own benefit.

Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children. (Watch for the rest of this list to be updated daily.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Perfect Parenting (or rather) Avoiding the Mistakes of Parenthood

Since I am and always have been the perfect parent … (uhm, what if my daughter reads my blog…? Let me rephrase…) Since I am a parent … (and even though my daughter is in her twenties and married) articles like the one on msn.com catch my eye and give me two thoughts: 1) what kind of parent was I then? and 2) how does their list match up to biblical principles? So take a moment to look at “10 Big Mistakes Parents Make” … go ahead and look … I’ll wait …

So, now that you’re back, here are my thoughts on the list:

1) Spoiling kids: I immediately think of Veruca Salt, the spoiled rich girl in the movie, “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”, who begins and ends most of her diatribes with “I want it now”. Her father, like many modern parents seem to think that giving in to the “wants” is chief method of showing love. Mr. Salt is obviously afraid that his daughter will not know how much he loves her if he doesn’t give in to her constant demands. The image of a good father who gives what we need (as opposed to wants) is found in Mt 7:9-11. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Food (like bread and fish) is vital to life. The latest model donkey or toga (BMW or Jimmy Choos) is not so vital.

Take a moment to consider your relationship with your Father in heaven, with you as His child, and then your relationship (as a parent) with your own beloved children. (Watch for the rest of this list to be updated daily.)

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

In a Pharr Away Place

In June, I was blessed to be a part of a mission trip to Pharr (near McAllen, Tx and within a stone's throw of the Mexican border) that included youth and adults from two United Methodist churches (my church and another church in our area). Most of those from our churches are well off in material things, and all of us were far from poor. The area we went to was Hidalgo County, the poorest county in the nation, and so very unlike the daily scenery that we were accustomed to. It is an agricultural society that relies on migrant workers who are paid very little and live in difficult circumstances. We went, we told the youth, not to go and "fix" problems, but to join into the society and help where we could, and learn from the people there who had so much to offer us, in a variety of ways.
The first day we gleaned (Read Ruth chapter 2) in a watermelon field for four hours. The watermelons were picked from the field and loaded into a truck which delivered them to a food bank. The next day we went to two different locations where we scraped, washed and painted two houses (a la UMARMY), while three of us went to a different neighborhood to distribute invitations to VBS. On Wednesday and Thursday, we spent the day in a colonia (a neighborhood) which was very poor by most standards, but rich love and care for others. We had prepared for a two-day bilingual VBS, complete with bilingual songs, games and crafts, and with a puppet show and movie in Spanish. The journey of preparing for this was a major event in itself and couldn't have happened without willing volunteers who practiced, gathered, and/or translated material. These two days were the best out of the week for me. Being with people who shared joy in circumstances that were so out-of-the-box for most of our group. No air conditioner, small houses with no TV and cramped living quarters, and houses with homemade plumbing and light fixtures... these circumstances seemed desperate.
However, the people shared their joy with us. The children laughed as we played "Duck Duck Goose" (or perhaps laughing with us as some of us spoke poor Spanish). Language was not a barrier, due to a few with us who served as translators, but mostly due to the shared language of caring for one another. Their faces lighted up when presented with their own coloring book and crayons. They shared their love for the Lord as they sang for us in loud gleeful voices and presented us with a "thank you" banner which they all signed. One would presume that the beneficiaries of our time and gifts were the children and their parents, but our group for Houston truly benefited in being accepted in into that community. During those days, I felt like there was no Greek, no Jew, no Anglo, no Hispanic (Gal 3:28), but that we were all enjoying being God's children together.
It was hot- VERY HOT (I don't do "heat" by choice), but as I look back, I didn't focus on that and instead enjoyed every aspect of this trip. I know the prayers of friends, family and our prayer team helped hold us all up during that time and I would whole-heartedly encourage others to consider a venture into such a Pharr away place as that. My continued prayer is that both the group that went and the people we met will remember how God moved and touched our lives, and that He will continue to move us all to serve and glorify Him with each new day.

Monday, July 7, 2008

In Dallas

I have sucessfully avoided updating my blog for quite some time, but I have great excuses (don't we always?) Since January I have been regularly working on course work for four courses that I must take this year in Dallas, for which I had to have my pre-work mailed in by May. I then used May and June to do the prep work so that all the ministries for which I am responsible would have all the info and volunteers they needed while I was gone for a month in July. Also in June I went on a mission trip with the youth from our church and another church in our area. It was wonderful and worth blogging about (which I will do shortly). But the short of it is that I am now in Dallas for a month, enjoying the opportunity to study and have fellowship with other pastors. It is difficult to leave the church for that period of time, but the church doesn't and shouldn't revolve around a single person or a single ministry. On the other hand, I have no worries because there is great leadership back at the ranch and a good number of brothers and sisters in Christ who continue to step up and do the work of Christ. The journey continues ...